I am imperfect. I am weak. I am lazy, scattered. I upset people, I can't make them happy. I leave people with regrets, fears, shame. I disappoint people, I leave them stranded.
Have I really left things so poorly?
I am not so dry and pristine as you think. I am war torn and struggling
to find a grip hold. I am living by the only way I know.
Why me? Why now? Why here?
God, what is your plan? Please guide me. I'm scared.
I guess what pains me the most is that we care about each other so much but we still harbor so much negative emotion towards each other. Can't we just focus on what matters?
I was surprised by how filled the grotto was with candles. It was incredible to imagine all the freshmen and parents who had stopped by the grotto to pray for themselves and others. It was a place filled with love.
Seeing the beautiful lights inspired an idea. I had been pondering all weekend what my senior year should be about. I think I've finally decided. Perhaps it should be about love. A beautiful way to end my four years at Notre Dame. It will no doubt be a challenge but being loving is goal worthy of a Notre Dame student.
These past two days have been revitalizing, dear friends. First, a successful rehearsal and day spent wandering campus. Visiting friends, most of whom seemed to enjoy my presence. Hearing the sound of the band recruits blasting our fight song.
I admit it took me a while but I found joy again. It seems I may have forgotten what it looked like. Perhaps the quiet summer really did take its toll on me.
But a few experiences really helped awaken me.
The girl with no fear showed a rare moment of fright. It reminded me of surprise and humanity.
The songs of Notre Dame reignited my passion for this beautiful and powerful school.
The basilica helped open my heart again to God's blessing.
Today, the class of 2015 moved into campus. And as I walked from the parking lot to South Quad, I breathed in air thick with hope, anticipation, joy, anxiety, prayers, wishes. And I was happy. I was ready for my last year at Notre Dame, I was ready to make this a year to remember.
Who knows what this year will be like. With any luck, there will be academic success, friendship old and new, happy hours around the lake, romance, new experiences, exploration, theatrical projects.
All I know is that I am ready. And I have left my fear behind.
It has been said before but freshmen often don't appreciate everything enough. I won't make that mistake this year. I look forward to making senior year a joy.
It's strange. People are finally returning to Notre Dame and the build up to my senior year has almost reached a climax. But these past few days have been chiefly marked with aching. Why? Is it because I wasn't ready for the year to begin? Am I upset about my friends arrival? Surely, not that. Indeed, I am more excited than ever for the school year to begin. Seeing my friends has given me nothing but joy.
At least that's what I believe. But perhaps that's not the whole picture.
I guess my chief problem is that I have been constantly worrying. I worry that my friends will hate me. I worry that this show will fall apart. I worry that I have done all the wrong things, that I have not prepared myself for this year, my career, my future.
The rain will guide me. Just as it has always done.
Because I love my friends. I desperately want them to be happy even when I feel I can do nothing.
Because I desperately want the show to be a success. To make my friends proud about their accomplishments and contributions.
Because I want to give my best to myself, and to my family, and to my little part of the world.
Love is patient. Love is kind.
Fear is normal, is it not? But I think fear may have taken a stronger hold over me than I am used to. And I think I may need help to combat it. Where should I turn to? Who should I turn to? I am paranoid at every corner, afraid that I have tarnished a friendship without knowing or meaning to.
Nada te turbe.
My friends are incredible people. They are tough, they are smart, they are resilient. They will go far. I know it. Perhaps, the real problem is that I need to have faith. Have faith in people. A strange thought since I normally associate faith with God. But maybe God is trying a different form of communication, a different method of teaching.
I must remember to listen. To hear words. To hear looks. To hear smiles and sunlight. To hear tears and tragedy.
I will try to give you my myself. But please don't give up on me. I don't like to be alone.
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
There is a time for gears.
And there is a time for winds.
Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening. This game is very near and dear to my heart for many reasons. It was my first Legend of Zelda game and I'm pretty sure I originally borrowed it from my cousin then kept it indefinitely. Good thing he didn't want it because it was a bit too complicated for him (amateur :) ). It was a Game Boy game with 8-bit gray-scale graphics and only someone as old as me (?) would remember that huge gray box that we were supposed to play it on. I would have first played this game between 5-8 years old and I have beaten it many times since. A few fun facts for those of you with LoZ know-how: Link's Awakening was the first game to have a trading sequence, assigning different items to multiple buttons, fishing minigames, and learning special songs on the ocarina (Yes, Ocarina of Time owes a lot to Link's Awakening!).
So you may ask, dear reader, why this game matters to you. The story!
After washing ashore Koholint Island, an owl greets Link (your character) and tells him that in order to return home, he must wake the Wind Fish resting in a giant egg in the northern mountains. So you embark on a great quest to retrieve the 8 Siren Instruments and wake the Wind Fish. You get to know the villagers and learn to love them, especially Marin, a young hopeful girl. She teaches you the song of awakening, the Ballad of the Wind Fish. After that charming moment, Marin says, "Please, don't forget this song... or me..." Then just before you acquire the sixth instrument, the game drops a bombshell.
The entire island is a dream of the Wind Fish. By awakening the Wind Fish, you will escape the dream but the island will disappear along with the inhabitants.
Yes, dear reader, wonderful Marin will disappear. But there are no other options. Link must return home.
After acquiring the last of the instruments, you stand in front of the Wind Fish egg and play the Ballad of the Wind Fish.
I love this song so much that I saved right before this moment so I could hear the song any time. This song will always inspire great emotion for me. Thankfully, youtube makes it easy to find nowadays.
So how does the game conclude? Once you enter the egg, you must defeat the Nightmares that have troubled the Wind Fish and play the song one last time to awaken the dreamer and yourself. Here is the ending, if you wish to see it:
And the fate of Koholint Island and Marin? Well as one astute youtube commenter stated:
"No he doesn't lose them; and they don't disappear.
The island Koholint was a dream of the Wind Fish and when it disappeared it didn't vanish.
It just switched places.
From the Wind Fish's dream to the heart of Link and everyone who played the game.
And as long as somebody remembers, Koholint will never vanish." -iGourry
Here is a piano arrangement I found of the Ballad of the Wind Fish:
This is an orchestrated medley of several Legend of Zelda songs. Towards the end is a section for Ballad of the Wind Fish:
